For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
