I accidentally had phone sex last night
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
