I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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