hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
