my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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