my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
