My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
