I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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