false alarm. still invincible.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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