im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
