Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
