Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
