pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
