You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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