Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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