I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
