i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
