Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
