it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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