I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
