do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
