True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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