I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
