im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
