she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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