I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
