Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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