Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is it penis luge time yet?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
