Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i dont even know how to be here
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
