it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
