Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
