In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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