I am puke
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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