JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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