so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize