Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
