Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
