ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
