wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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