did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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