i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
