We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just found puke in my bra..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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