i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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