Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
