I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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