this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
