It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
