Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
