We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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