Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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