I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
